I can't find the tablespoon. The bib is in the wrong place. Can't she at least clean up after Harvey's trails? Why are there toys in the middle of the hallway - which I tripped on and nearly caused yet another pain in my behind? How come the crib tent wasn't zipped up? The blinds weren't drawn. I can't risk having sunlight wake up my 8 AM snoozer... Another book cover was wrinkled and destroyed - which I neglected to shelve because it JUST ARRIVED!!Joe to Laura: "Well maybe we should put the good books away so they don't get hurt"
Laura: "Yes, but he should have access to books. He has to be trained not to hurt books. ALL books should be treated like library books. Books are sacred. The babysitters need to catch him in the act and correct the behavior! Harvey needs to learn...."
Joe: "Honey, I am hungry. Can we talk about this after dinner?"
How come none of this ever happens on my watch? I don't consider myself supermom. But at least I can remember to turn on the sleep music CD. It is bad enough that my microwave smells permanently of artificial butter from that disgusting bagged popcorn they bring through here...
Yes folks, you got it. I am getting a really hard course in letting go. In all of the parenting books they prepare you for the crabby, sick, bored, hungry, stubborn and uncoordinated toddler. I expect him to test my patience. What the books don't tell you, however, is that if you are the kind of person that likes things a certain way (e.g.: always start with vegetables and protein and then save the starches and fruit for dessert otherwise carbohydrate baby will just stuff himself with pasta and have no room for the other good stuff.) then get ready to let it go. What was that book? Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff.
Babysitters sometimes leave some cute tracks - like the scrap paper I found the other day with fancy wedding style handwriting: "Suzie and Jonathan; Rachel and Ben; Sarah and Aaron" (names have been changed to protect sitters from embarassment)
There is one cardinal sin that cannot be forgiven:
The nightly use of duct tape is NOT optional!
Last night the sitter neglected to tape up the toddler and when I went in to check on him at midnight,
(to my HORROR)
there was a poop stench in the air and a naked baby sleeping amongst dozens of little poop-lets (and a few big ones too. Sorry, I am not sparing anyone tonight). I quickly performed the necessary sugical proceedures (re-diapering, taping, de-pooping the crib, changing the sheet) and returned HS to his bed. Thankfully he slept through the whole thing. Harvey, please, please, won't you please keep your pants on???
n.b. If you are one of Harvey's beloved sitters, don't worry, we still love you. I just needed to blog this one out of my system.
4 comments:
it's really hard to relinquish some control, isn't it? i knew that i would have those feelings the minute i decided to continue to teach, instead of staying home with michael b. and, i was right...it's really hard sometimes
i'd be pretty darned grouchy if i had to clean up poop at 12am, let me tell ya. unless, the poop was due to a virus...
i think these little things, though, are preparing us for the BIG stuff that we'll be facing in about 13 to 15 years, or so.
at least we have each other, right?
hugs to the three of you.
it's really hard to relinquish some control, isn't it? i knew that i would have those feelings the minute i decided to continue to teach, instead of staying home with michael b. and, i was right...it's really hard sometimes
i'd be pretty darned grouchy if i had to clean up poop at 12am, let me tell ya. unless, the poop was due to a virus...
i think these little things, though, are preparing us for the BIG stuff that we'll be facing in about 13 to 15 years, or so.
at least we have each other, right?
hugs to the three of you.
it's really hard to relinquish some control, isn't it? i knew that i would have those feelings the minute i decided to continue to teach, instead of staying home with michael b. and, i was right...it's really hard sometimes
i'd be pretty darned grouchy if i had to clean up poop at 12am, let me tell ya. unless, the poop was due to a virus...
i think these little things, though, are preparing us for the BIG stuff that we'll be facing in about 13 to 15 years, or so.
at least we have each other, right?
hugs to the three of you.
this one deserves a nomination for a blog pulitzer
some day you'll look back with fondness on all this
naaaaah... i doubt it, by that time you'll be visiting me in the nursing home and cleaning up my twin bed with the crusty sheets.
mh
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